Why Your Smartphone Isn't All That Smart

Why Your Smartphone Isn't All That Smart

Let me save you the trouble: if smartphone cameras were any smart, the first thing they’d do is refute all claims to smartness. Picture quality? Sure, awesome. All in. Light? Uh, you’re going to need a separate app, bro. A separate app? Yes, sis. Hit Google Play store now. They’re so smart they have sixteen different apps for lighting alone. SIXTEEN. Oh, you’ve got an iphone? I don’t have that much free time to go through all of those.

Click Install.

Great. Now we’re ready to take a picture. Uh oh. I’m an English major, what the hell is Sepia? Can I just take my picture and go on with my life? Why is the camera flash not functional, Matt?

Oh, I know! Google Play store. They have fifty-two camera flash apps here, Matt. Which one?

I don’t know, Freddie. Follow your heart.

Click install.

I’m tired of posing for this one picture, Matt.
 

Will you just chill out okay? I’m the one on Google Play store trying to get things done. Your picture will be crappy without this app.

Yes, Jennifer, you look beautiful but I can’t take your picture. Oh, it’s just the darn flash. What? I should get Barry Allen to shoot me? That’s very funny, Jenny. All right, Matt. Camera flash installed. Time for that picture. Say cheese. What the hell? I need to install Sweet Selfie too?

Unbelievable. Aren’t these things supposed to be smart?
 

Yo, Jenny, you still got that photographer’s number? Yeah, Tamieka, that’s the one.
 

One of these days you’ll need a picture taken very well, and you’d not want to be Matt or Freddie. You’d not want to worry about the lighting and distance and all the photo-jargon that confuse your smartphone and annoy you. I’ll be here.  Crappy phone picture will be gone.

Check out my blog post about taking better pictures with your smartphone.